Let’s be real!

Life is always a mixed bag. There is fun and joy, some of life is heartfelt, some heartache, there is fear and inferiority, there is laughing until the belly hurts, and there is crying until one has run dry. There are so many seemingly contradictory elements to life and most of us feel them all over time. However, most of us pretend that we are even-keeled. Well, let me rephrase: I do. This is not a conscious choice of mine, and I do not believe it is for most others either. We like to seem ok because we don’t like to be vulnerable. And not being ok shows vulnerability. It is saying to others: I am struggling here and certainly do not have it all together. I am in need of help and support, love and kindness.

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When counselling, I come across many who are open about their struggles. In fact, I believe that those with depression often do not feel anything fundamentally different from someone without depression. However, there seems to be an element of feeling more deeply. More numbness. More sadness. More darkness. More inferiority. More vulnerability. Less confidence. Less smiles. Less shoulder-shrugging.

Depression is a horrible condition. No doubt about that. I wish depression on nobody, nor to make it seem any less horrible than it is. In fact, I read an article this week, which I would recommend for people who are interested in understanding the horror a little more.If you are a sufferer and have not found any support, would you seek it out? Would you speak to a trusted friend, a confidant of some kind, contact your GP or come to see somebody like me, who is professionally trained to offer support?

Returning to my original thought, there is something about vulnerability and the awareness that comes with it. Maybe it is the honesty about these feelings, the rawness of them and how intensely they are experienced. Maybe there is a lesson for us all to be more honest, to dare being more ourselves, and be real? This could help building more meaningful relationships, create a place to be real, and save the energy wasted that is spent on faking being ok every day all the time.

Thank you for joining me today.