Shock!!! This was my instant reaction to the attacks in Paris. Shock and disbelief. Shock that does not allow even any questions to come to mind but simply wants to freeze up my brain.
Disbelief allows thoughts to be formed, but they are against my rationale, telling me that this COULD not have happened. It could not be true. It just seems way too unlikely, too unreasonable.
Anger. Yes, a lot of anger arrived later on. How could this happen? What on earth were they thinking? How can one human do this to another? Who on earth thinks of training up someone to kill others at random?
Depression with hopelessness. The debates feel frustrating and powerless. Bombing or no bombing? To me, neither seems like a good idea. Being reactive or proactive? To me, neither seems like a good idea. Increased surveillance or no change? To me, neither seems like a good idea. The list can go on. Because neither and no option will undo what has happened, and neither and no option will bring true reconciliation.
Acceptance. Well this even surprises me but one part of me feels as if this is now just the world we live in. This is the context in which we raise our children and teach them right from wrong and teach them love by loving them unconditionally.
Please know that I am not looking to start a political debate. There are many around and they are important, but not my objective here. I am looking to process thoughts and look at the heart.
The heart of brokenness. I cannot help but feel heartbroken over what is happening, even reaching further than France, and looking at the world around. The terror that is around. This includes terror attacks, but reaches further to humans – fellow human being of all ages, all backgrounds, all religions, all hopes, all dreams, all interests, all abilities- suffering!
Would you look at a photo series of children and youth going through the refugee crisis. Would you look at it and read about these children with me, and set aside political ideas of whose fault or responsibility it is? Just for a moment! Would you go ahead and see these individuals for what they are? Individual children,youth, adults – humans- suffering! With trauma and broken hearts and lives! That is the reality of it. Yes, there need to be wider debates on how to solve this and not all of them can be based on emotions. But our emotions and compassion has to be a major ingredient in this decision process, and I believe this is only possible if we choose to look at the individuals and get familiar with faces, rather than make them “the other”.
Again, I am not trying to spark a debate on boarder control or immigration policy. What I am trying is to touch our hearts to choose compassion as an ingredient in any debate and to choose to process with those around our and their suffering and heart-ache.
If you know anything about grief, whether this is in theory or by personal experience, all of the above will be part of a grieving process at one point or another. And what I always emphasis with my clients is the importance to walk through this grief and to process it, rather than try to bypass, run, or ignore. I am a firm believer of this being the only way to integrate what happened and what is happening. And a long way it is! And the second aspect I always emphasis with my clients is that it is by no means pleasant. And it sure is not…but nonetheless important!
Thank you for joining me in my thoughts and I hope the above support you in your processing of your thoughts and situation.